The Rules Blog and Podcast

Lauren writes:

I realise that it is considered bad form to point out the rudeness and/or incompetence of others, however, rude behaviour and general incompetence is ubiquitous in America, specifically in L.A. In your view, when, if ever, is it appropriate to tell someone that their behaviour is adversely affecting me?

Steven says:

I try to live by the advice the Earl of Chesterfield gave his son:

Never seem wiser, nor more learned, than the people you are with. Wear your learning, like your watch, in a private pocket: and do not merely pull it out and strike it; merely to show that you have one.

But I’m pretty much screaming that I’m an over-educated pompous sausage wallet by taking the words of an 18th century noblemen as my creed. (Using the word “creed” probably doesn’t help, either.)

Frankly, there’s too much sensitivity now to the lowest common denominator and we’re doing ourselves a disservice by not clipping that unruly child about the ear or pulling someone up for being inconsiderate. Why shouldn’t we try to raise each other to higher standards instead of accepting the lower standards of morons because we don’t want to say, “Excuse me, young man, I wonder if you would mind taking your phone sex off the bus. To be frank, I’m not that interested in knowing that Suzie wants it harder.”

If we don’t speak up, the unruly and inconsiderate win. And we can’t have the lower orders winning.

To paraphrase the earl, Lauren, I say go for it.

Miss Rhylla says:

As two people who rant routinely on such issues and broadcasters of a show “where we tell you how to live your life” I suspect our answers will not surprise anyone.

I confess the urges to chase people down the street to return their dropped rubbish, to tut-tutt at smokers and queue jumpers is growing by the day. The world is just such a better place to be in when there is a dash of civility and grace to grease the wheels.

The worry of course is that a simple “excuse me” can get you into a bag of trouble. Tightly wound commuters and already aggressive folks could turn on you at a moment’s notice. So you might need to be ready to scamper. Or learn karate. It’s a tough, rude world out there.