Jonathan writes:
We have employee-only showers installed in our company toilets for people to use after using nearby running trails. A few days ago, I went to use the shower and found a large poo on the shower floor. Obviously, I did not use the shower.
Since no one has owned up to the offending poo, should I address it? It was disgusting, but I want to know which of our filthy miscreants would do such a thing! Surely the person had to have known that they had left a souvenir on the shower floor! I believe this person should be flogged!
Steven says:
This is a curly one. Ha, ha, ha. I sleigh me (yuletide pun to add to hilarious opening joke). This is obviously a psychological problem on the part of the one laying the turd. There are no two ways about it. You don’t — can’t — accidentally lay a turd. They don’t just slip out unnoticed.
“Excuse me, sir, you’re probably not even aware of this but you’ve just shat all over the floor.”
“Confound it! Not again! I’ll have to tie my trouser legs tighter.”
I can’t see any way to address it, myself. If the culprit wants to be caught, s/he’ll leave a clue. Maybe s/he’ll take a leaf out of Neil Armstrong’s catheter bag and claim their work with a business card fluttering on a toothpick.
You could log (another pun for the season) the use of the shower, checking the floor in between callers. Fleur tells me they used to have to do this at her Sydney private school when some young lady started doing the same as your colleague. That’s posh girls’ schools for you.
Miss Rhylla says:
Call in CSI and get some DNA tests done. Then call a witchhunt. This is a sociopath you are dealing with. I don’t think changing your place of work should be out of the question. There are clearly some elements there that are unsavoury, nay, frightening.
I’ve only just gotten over Psycho and may never be able to shower again.*
Also, those deeply repressed memories from my university days when I did some cleaning at a local pub are coming back to me. A bloodstained sheet with a loveheart drawn in lipstick, a tinned beetroot fight in a hotel room and dirty underwear in a shower stall… just some of the horrors that awaited me, my thick rubber gloves and a big bottle of bleach.
Who ARE these people?
*Steven adds:
If Rhylla stops showering, we may not be recording for a while.
1 response so far ↓
1 Bernadette // Dec 15, 2007 at 5:47 pm
I have wondered about that Steven…about whether there are some people for whom the act of excreting happens without them knowing that is. I used to work as a lifeguard & instructor at a public pool and it would be a rare day that we didn’t find at least one poo floating around. Sometimes I would sit in the lifeguard’s chair and watch it happen before my very eyes and STILL I did not believe that an adult had actually done it…again (that’s right…we’re talking adults here not kiddies). I sometimes wondered if indeed there were some people who simply didn’t know it was happening. How else could this behaviour be explained? That some people are dirty, filthy scumbags?
For Jonathan really though there is no answer. No one will own up to it. Trust me. Even when the people who had been observed pooing in a public pool denied it all the way when confronted so I can’t imagine anyone who has gotten away without being observed will willingly ‘fess up. And it’s illegal to install cameras to catch the perpetrators so what else can you do?
I suggest you run after work and shower at home. Sometimes you can’t win.
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