The Rules Blog and Podcast

Stephanie from Kirribilli writes:

It’s only mid-December and I’ve already been invited to a group function on 16 February. How do I politely decline an invitation for an event that is so far in advance? It would be very hard to say you are busy and I’d feel rude saying I’m not very keen to go… what do you do?

Steven says:

Tell the person in question you wash your hair on the third Saturday of the month so won’t be able to make it. Or you can take the wimp’s way out — my favourite — and say you’d love to go. Nearer the time you succumb to that unfortunate bug that’s going around your house or have to take an emergency peacemaking trip to Yemen.

Now what are you doing on 5 March because you sound hot?

Miss Rhylla says:

“Did you say the 16th of February? Oh, I’d love to but it’s the third anniversary of the Kyoto Protocol and I’ve made a promise not to emit any greenhouse gases on that day. Leaving the house is out of the question sadly. That IS a shame.”

It’s fine that your friend/acquaintance is organising so far in advance - that’s their prerogative - but you don’t have to do so too. Unless it is something particularly special (or involves international flight bookings and a visa) I assume they don’t need an RSVP from you today. So it seems fair enough to say, thank you and that when you get around to buying your 2008 diary you’ll look at putting it in.Why do today what you can procrastinate about for another two months?

Christmas break: We’re taking a break for Christmas and look forward to answering all your questions in 2008. Please do email us.