Karen asks:
Am I required to buy my boss a holiday gift? I think the boss should be buying me a gift, but others in the office want to throw in to buy the boss a gift. I say no way. I have never worked anywhere before where this was expected. My former employer always gave out a bonus or paid for a party for their employees and never expected a gift from those who work for them. Am I living in fantasy land or do employees really do this?
Miss Rhylla says:
It can all get a little out of hand this gift-giving business can’t it? I think the fact that you are using the word ‘required’ about giving a gift to your boss is telling. Surely a gift should be something shared between consenting participants, a little something from one to another and not something forced.
Tricky when everyone else in the office is chipping in though and you feel like the Grinch. I wish you luck with that.
Can I just say, I think a pay bonus is a completely separate issue, that is more a coincidence of timing and is an end-of-year thing to be handled at your boss’s discretion based upon your contribution all year so is not comparable to a gift.
I am curious however that you seem to think your boss “should buy you a gift.” Really? For giving you a job and paying you all year isn’t sufficient? If you are so resistant to sharing something to celebrate the season with them I am a little bemused you carry expectations of getting something.
Call me hokey, old-fashioned, but if more of us thought about who we’d really like to share a gift with and took the time to give something (however small) in a real spirit of generosity rather than getting caught up in the transactions of “they got me something, I guess I have to get them something” the whole festive season might be more fun.
Anyway Karen, here’s to the season - egg nog and mistletoe snogging all round I say. I hope it is merry and that your pear trees are chock full of partridges, whatever your relationship to your boss may be.
Steven says:
I’m not a big giver of Christmas gifts, as my family will tell you, so I’m certainly not a big fan of being compelled to give. We just had the office Kris Kringle/Secret Santa. Loathsome. I think you are neither required to buy the boss a gift nor is s/he required to buy you one.
I would try to say something funny at this point but bah humbug is upon me.
3 responses so far ↓
1 Karen // Dec 14, 2007 at 12:32 am
Ryhlla, you can be bemused with yourself the whole day long. I certainly don’t think my boss “should” buy me a gift nor do I expect or want one. I didn’t communicate clearly enough. I meant if anyone in the office should be receiving gifts, it shouldn’t be the boss, it should be the employees. I would, however, prefer it if gift giving at the holidays stayed out of the workplace althogether. I would rather share gifts with my loved ones, not the people I work with. I love giving the people I love and care about gifts. Perhaps all the money that will be wasted on meaningless gifts at the office could be collected and donated to a charity or a needy family. Who the hell needs another scented candle or santa claus dishtowels?
I hear you on the bonus issue.
Yes the boss gave me a job and gives me a paycheque. That doesn’t mean that I now have to give her a bit of that money back in the form of a gift. The rest of the employees are ass kissing sheep.
Happy Holidays!
2 Bernadette // Dec 15, 2007 at 10:58 am
Life is full of doing things you don’t want to. My 2007 New Year’s resolution was to not spend time fretting over those things any more so I’ve been trying very hard (and mostly succeeding) to find an alternative way to look at things I don’t want to do. In your situation…
If everyone in the office is putting in a few bucks for the boss’ gift you’re going to have to join in or accept being the subject of gossip and sneering for months or years to come. It may not be fair but it’s a fact of life. Think of it as an investment in your future workplace peace and harmony rather than a present for your boss.
3 Karen // Dec 16, 2007 at 10:47 am
Well since you put it that way….you raise a really good point Bernadette.
Thanks everyone.
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