This episode was recorded in September and there’s no good reason that it’s taken till Boxing Day to put it up. Your comments on the blog (thanks, Marc) and emails are what keep us going. If you’ve got a topic or anything you’d like us to discuss, drop us a line and, as ever, we promise to try to be more frequent — if indeed that is what you want!In this episode (in which we laughingly keep referring back to “last week’s episode”) we discuss all manner of things, including the pressing question of whether a wishing well at a wedding is tacky.
43 The Rules — Wishing well
December 26th, 2008 · 4 Comments
Tags: Podcasts
4 responses so far ↓
1 Marc Naimark // Dec 26, 2008 at 7:00 pm
I haven’t even listened yet, and I know that this is a WONDERFUL episode of the fabulous The Rules Podcast. Thanks so much, Steven (and Todd and The Lovely Miss Rhylla) for this Boxing Day treat!
But what can the news in the upcoming podcast be? I do hope it’s not an announcement of the end of the The Rules! Maybe it’s an invitation to a wedding?
2 Marc Naimark // Dec 26, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Also wondering what a wedding wishing well is. Can’t wait to get this on my mp3 player!
3 Marc Naimark // Dec 27, 2008 at 6:52 pm
On costume parties (fancy dress? puh-leeze). Totally agree that if you go, you should go with gusto. But should one go? I say no, it only encourages them. Costume parties and themed parties can be fun once in a while, but it sounds like they’re getting out of hand. But then again, life in Sydney seems to be one long party anyway, so I suppose you need to give a real party something special to set it apart from the non-stop drinking that seems to go on there. I was in Sydney during the Melbourne Cup, so please don’t try to convince me that Sydneysiders do anything other than drink to excess.
On Rhylla and coffee guy infidelity. I would be inclined to attribute TLMR’s concerns to Australian mateship running amok if I had not heard similar worries from people in other countries. Rhylla, this is a business relationship. The coffee guy is not your spouse, not your friend, not a family member. He is a business person and you are a client. He is happy to have you as a client, but he neither loves you nor hates you. The people who love you are, among others, your faithful podcast listeners, who thank you for sharing your delightfulness with us, and only wish it were more often.
One last thing about the coffee guy: when he finds a lease for a better location, do you think he will hesitate to move? Will he be thinking: “Oh no, that lovely woman whose name I don’t know has been ever so loyal! How can I leave her coffeeless?” He will not! So TLMR should think nothing of having her coffee wherever she damn pleases.
On reverse parking. If it’s safe and legal, do it. I don’t see Todd the Enforcer worrying about all the pedestrians who have to wait at the zebra crossing when he has the right of way. When you drive, sometimes you delay others, sometimes you’re delayed by others. That’s life.
And as an aside, Steve was right: Todd’s description of Military Road was less than clear. For me, and barring any details, a “two-lane road” has one lane in one direction and another lane in the opposite direction. This sounds quite different from Military Road.
On tissue box covers. I think they exist anywhere ladies are allowed to crochet. Also loo roll covers (the flamenco dancers are particularly fetching). Have seen such things in both France and the USA, particularly in the homes of great aunts.
On wedding gifts. So much to say. No, Steven, the monetary value of your wedding gift has nothing to do with the cost of inviting you. Please, please, dissociate the invitation and the gift. You invite guests in a number and a manner you can afford. That’s the host’s duty and responsibility. And as a host, you are inviting your guests for the pleasure of their company, not for the swag they’ll give you. Hence, your invitation should make no mention of gifts in any way, shape, or form, no even “No gifts please”.
Now on to the gift. We give gifts to show our consideration and affection. We give what we can afford, and what we choose, based on our knowledge of the tastes, needs, and lifestyle of the recipient. We are free to offer no gift at all.
Cash gifts may be offered, but seem a very poor substitute for a gift chosen with care. Donations to charity appear to be a nice alternative, but they are still quite delicate. Bridal registries are rather vulgar, but do serve a useful function. (And here in France, while in theory, you may be buying a particular item from the bridal registry, in fact, you are simply contributing to a fund with which the beneficiaries may purchase whatever they like from the store, and not necessarily anything from their registry list at all. In such a case, there is no harm in including those affordable items on your list, since you can convert their value to the item of your choice, including travel.)
Certainly, those you invite should know your tastes, needs, and lifestyle. If they don’t, why are you inviting them? They should at the very least know who they should ask for more information about your wishes. Everyone from work knows who they would contact to find out what’s up with you (your PA?). Likewise everyone from your family (your mum?), and everyone from lifesaving (John?), and from podcasting (Rhylla?). If you’ve invited someone who doesn’t know you well enough to know who to ask for this info, then you really, really, shouldn’t have invited them. Said contact persons will know to give your message, “Oh, I really wouldn’t know, but I did hear Steven say that Fleur wanted to have a gift registry at Le Bon Marché”, or “Gosh, they haven’t said anything, but I know they don’t need anything for the house, and I’m sure they would be delighted with a gift in their name to the Lifesaving Association”. In any case, it’s neither their duty nor their responsibility to furnish your home.
So, stuff the wishing well, please!
After this, I guess I won’t be getting an invite…
(As an aside, there is a lovely tradition in France that solves some problems. In villages, at least, it is customary that everyone in the village comes to the church ceremony. Afterwards, all and sundry are invited to a “vin d’honneur”, that is, a simple reception with wine and crackers. Only after this reception does the wedding luncheon or dinner take place for the invited guests. )
4 thats // Dec 6, 2011 at 11:04 pm
Superb site content here. I am actually affected. I’ll inform my buddies.
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